Man Vs Woman
by Burakku Roze
Summary: lol ok you'll just have to read it cause I can't explain it. But its a Sess/Kag.
1. Woman's Revange

BR: My mom got this email from a friend and I was like I HAVE to make a short one-shot drabbles, so here it is.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all.

* * *

**WOMEN'S REVENGE**

'I can't believe him! He forgot again! Lets see how he likes not being able to relax properly!,' fumed kagome who was walking down the aisle in the market to get her husband Sesshoumaru something to eat since he "didn't eat vegetables."

It all started out as a planed outing with some friends of hers for a picnic, but when Kikyou called saying Inuyasha was going Sesshoumaru got pissed off saying she couldn't go. Thus starting an argument between them.

**Flashback**

"No woman you are not going if that half-twit a brother of mine is going!," growled out Sesshoumaru. Kagome looked at him sputtering for a moment.

"What so you can go to an 'All Guys Night Out' when that good for nothing woman Kagura goes with her brother Naraku!," she hissed back. It was well known that Kagura had been trying to get her husband for a while now.

"Don't bring that woman into this," he replied clearly sounding disgusted. She throw her hands up in frustration and called the girls telling them she wasn't going.

"Whatever. I'm making tortilla soup for dinner then," she grumbled out.

Sesshoumaru tried not grimacing, he never really like that soup.

"Go get something else to eat. I'm going to go watch TV," turning around he left to the living room, leaving a fuming kagome in the kitchen. Desciding to take revange on him she tip-toed into the living room and took something he was going to need. Once outside she started Laughing.

**End flashback**

So here she was at the market getting him something else to eat like a good wife. (sarcastic much?)

"Cash, check or charge?" asked the cashier after bagging the items the Kagome wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet , the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" she asked.

"No," I replied, "but my husband refused to let me go out with some friends,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

* * *

BR: Okay tell me how you liked it.


	2. Understanding Woman

Disclaimer: I Dont Own Anything.

* * *

**UNDERSTANDING WOMEN**

(**A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE...or at least Sesshoumaru's at the moment.**)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

and still be afraid of a spider.

And he indeed would never understand. Earlier that day Kagome was in the bathroom waxing her legs, when all the sudden she started screaming.

Thinking something was really wrong he rushed to the bathroom only to see her standing on the toilet, with hot wax still on her upper thigh, and towel rapped around, her held tightly with one hand.

She was pointing at a Daddy Long Leg, screaming her lungs out.

He looked at her then at the spider and back again. Rolling his eye's he told her to stop screaming.

Walking over to the spider he picked it up and put it outside. "Onna you are impossible," he stated flatly.

* * *

BR: I dont blame Kag for that one. I'm not very fond of spiders either


	3. Marriage Seminar

Disclaimer: I Dont Own Anything.

* * *

**MARRIAGE SEMINAR**

They thought that maybe going to Marriage counseling would help this silent feud going on between them.

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Sesshoumaru and her listened to the instructor,

"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

He addressed Sesshoumaru,

"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Sesshoumaru leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,

"It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

Her eyebrow twitched irritated he didn't remember her favorite flower, so she whispered back,

"Isn't yours the Kikyou?(bellflower)," Sesshoumaru shot her a disgusted look. She knew full well he DID NOT like Kikyou his brother wife, so he would NEVER like that flower either.

The instructor looked between the two with a raised brow. Clearing his throat he said,"Okay then, how about this do you remember where you first met your wife?."

Sesshoumaru looked at him for a minute before replying,"I think it was at the Club on 8th street."

Kagome stood up and smacked him up-side the head before stomping toward the door. Turning around for a second she said,"We met at your brother's Wedding!," and with that she slamed the door closed.

The instructor looked at him,"You've got your hands full with that one," he said.

Sesshoumaru looked back at him and replied,"You have no idea."

* * *

BR: Okay out of them all I like this one the most.


	4. Cigarettes and Tampons

BR: ok here's the next one.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

* * *

**CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS**

Yesterday he had asked Kagome to go get him some cigarettes, cause he had to finish some paperwork, so he couldn't go himself. Kagome wanted to get back at him for the the Incident at the Marriage Counseling place, so she got him a tin of tabacco and rolling papers for him.

Today she was in the bathroom after starting her period only to realize she didn't have any tampons or pads, so she asked him to go get some tampons for her.

So he went to the store for her.

Sesshoumaru walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

'Next time maybe she'll think before crossing this Sesshoumaru' he thinks after forming an evil plot in his mind.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?," He answers,"You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

and some rolling papers cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she." The woman sweat-dropped and handed him the things he bought.

* * *

BR: Lol. Poor kagome.


	5. Husband Vs Wife

Disclaimer: I Dont Own Anything.

* * *

**WIFE VS. HUSBAND**

Sesshoumaru was driving down a country road with Kagome in the passenger seat, not saying a word. Earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

**Flashback**

"I thought that old couple were very nice, Don't you think?," she asked.

"Yea sure if you think man-eating people are nice," he replied with a scoff.

Kagome looked at him annoyed, "I'm just trying to make conversation meanie."

"Yes well you do have a hard time keeping quiet," he replied. She shot him a glare before going quiet.

'I'll show him quiet!' she thought.

**End Flashback**

Now neither of them wanted to apologize first. Which was understandable considering they were both prideful.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, he asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," she replied, "in-laws."

This made him think that maybe saying what he said was a bad approach for trying to apologize, 'Hn. I'll die before apologizing first.'

* * *

BR: (snckers) Yea Kagome won that round


	6. Words

Disclaimer: I Dont Own Anything.

* * *

**WORDS**

A couple of days after the driving incident they had both apologized, thinking it was immature to be acting like kids.

This morning Sesshoumaru went outside to get the morning paper, and had been reading it for sometime when he came across a certain article.

He read the article Kagome about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.

She replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men."

He then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Kagome walks out of the room laughing, leaving Sesshoumaru to wonder why she left laughing until it dawned on him..he just proved her point...

'insufferable woman,' he grumbled in his head, 'I'll get you back.'

* * *

BR: Sessy I think we woman are all insufferable to men. I couldnt really think of anything to put in this so if you have idea's I can go back and add things.


	7. Creation

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Anything.

* * *

**CREATION**

He would get his wife back for tricking him yesterday morning, even if it was the last thing he did he swore he would.

He watched as she cleaned the house, when she tripped over the vacuum cord and it made him think.

He said to his wife after helping her stand up from where she fell, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."

Kagome immediately turned red from anger, noticing he was waiting for her to respond she replied,

"Allow me to explain, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!," she turned with

a huff after seeing him smirk smugly.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that hun," he replied.

Ovbiously he knew that anybody would be stupid to NOT be attracted to him.

'Yea that just makes me seem like an idiot,' she thought sourly.

* * *

BR: tsk tsk she would be stupid to say he wasnt attractive.


	8. Who Does What

Disclaimer: I Dont Own Anything.

* * *

**WHO DOES WHAT**

The next afternoon She decided she'd find a way to get back at him for acting so smugly.

'ugh he should make coffee in the morning this way I don't have to get up so early' she thought. Seeing Sesshoumaru walk into the kitchen she told him just that. He looked at her disbelieving before saying no.

Now they were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

She said, "You should do it because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee!"

He said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Frustrated she was determined to win this argument when she remembered something so she replied, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Sesshoumaru arched his brow at her and replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREW' (no pun intended)

He looked at her then back at the bible before conceding. She'd won that argument.

* * *

BR: Lol. I dont think he'd really concede to a fight that fast in reality but its still funny.


	9. Silent Treatment

Disclaimer: I Dont Own Anything.

* * *

**The Silent Treatment**

Sesshoumaru and Kagome were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

It had started when she had told him to start sleeping in a different room cause he couldn't seem to get home on time and she didn't like waking up late at night to him climbing in bed.

Suddenly, he realized that the next day, he would need her to wake him

at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.'

He left it where he knew she would find it.

And she did. Angry she thought that he was trying to trick her into talking first so she decided she would wake him but not in the manner he wanted.

The next morning, he woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why she hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Sesshoumaru now believed that no matter the time, place, or situation that

Men were not equipped for these kinds of contests.

So God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

* * *

BR: lol and she wins again.


End file.
